Thoughts of a brand new ECMO specialist anticipating his first "buddy run" on the pump:
One month ago, having just completed the course: "Ooo, ooo! I hope we have some ECMO again soon before I forget everything!"
Three weeks ago: "Come on, ECMO! Can't wait to get some pump time."
Two weeks ago: "Man! I can't believe I was off for three days and missed my chance at a short run in PICU!"
Two days ago: "Two patients went on the pump in less than twelve hours! I'm up to bat tomorrow!"
Yesterday afternoon, upon waking: "Oh my god. What have I done? I must vomit."
Driving in: "Maybe both of those patients will have inexplicably gotten better and they'll be off the pump when I get there."
Two hours into the shift: "Wow - my preceptor is so patient and this really isn't so bad. And I haven't thrown up yet. I can do this."
Ten hours into the shift: "Oh dear lord. Let me out!"
Not an ECMO tech (I'd love to but moved away before I was allowed to take the class), but I personally think you've got to keep some of that fear when caring for those babies. Some of the stories I've heard...
ReplyDeleteMy wife is on the ECMO team at her hospital. She's been doing it awhile now, but still has a healthy respect for those kiddos. They're super sick.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are right. Living in a little bit of fear is the right thing, because the situation can change in a very short period of time.
ReplyDeleteI think I went through this same reaction on starting in the NICU five years ago. I was very, very excited and then I was suddenly struck by the reality of just what I had gotten myself into.